Somebody once gave me some sage advice. The advice was, “Sometimes you have to lose in order to win.” My immediate resistance was, “Let someone beat me!? Are you insane?” Then the advice sunk into my thick skull.

If I allow someone to gain the upper hand (win) and I back down from always needing to be right or win, then I am showing patience, power, and strength in my cause.

In my case, I was always looking for the win. I was a competitor, a survivor, and nobody was going to beat me. This tended to rub people the wrong way and helped me create followers who were on edge or not trusting of Spence. When I chose to allow them to win now so I might win the war later, then things shifted for me. My leadership ability grew. Trust for my causes grew. I became the magnet I needed to become to be an effective leader who was trusted.

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What are you holding onto so tight that it is pushing people away from you? Do you tend to win too much, need to be right all the time, or mistrust others? Take a day or a week to find out what your weakest point is and choose to build a plan to go a different direction.